Learning To Live (Eternal Flames Book 11) Read online

  Rory felt a pang of jealousy squeeze his heart from the thought that Snake was mate to this guy. That meant that he couldn’t have the gorgeous man for himself. Not that he was actually looking for anyone, because he wasn’t, but he did have plenty of hot dreams about the sexy man since finally meeting him face-to-face once Snake and the others had moved to Crystal.

  Sure, he had spoken to all the guys on the team many times through the com links during missions and a few times over the phone in between missions, but as per the job and keeping everything hush-hush, he had never known what any of them looked like until recently.

  He had always gotten a thrill from hearing Snake’s sexy voice. It always sent a delicious shiver through him and gave him plenty of nights of fantastic naughty dreams. Now this hunk of a man was standing there saying that Snake was his. Well, shit.

  “What are you talking about? Who are you?” Snake asked as he blocked the gargoyle from Rory’s view.

  The gorgeous hunk stepped closer, placing one foot in the house, and Rory noticed he towered over Snake. Shit, were the man’s eyes pink? They were so…so…sexy. And all those muscles just…damn. Rory’s cock twitched in his jeans and began to fill.

  “As I said, I am Ozcog and my king, Suneth, sent me to help watch over someone named Donny. But I never thought coming here would bring me face to face with my mate. Well, both of my mates,” Ozcog answered in his deep, whiskey smooth voice.

  Rory’s head began to spin from Ozcog’s declaration. Wait, what? Did he just say…both his mates? Rory thought, and suddenly felt lightheaded. His chest felt tight and he found it hard to breathe.

  Rory took a step back, thrusting his hand out behind him in an attempt to grab onto the couch that was not far away, in hopes it would stop him from face planting and appearing to be an idiot in front of these two gorgeous men.

  “Shit, he’s going down!” Rory heard Donny say from somewhere behind him, then suddenly a strong arm snaked around his waist and his feet moved on their own accord and Rory found himself sitting on the couch, bent forward, with his head between his knees as someone rubbed his back gently.

  He heard a deep growl from somewhere that sounded menacing, then Donny reprimanding, “Oh shut it. He needs comfort right now, not all your growly protective shit. In case your eyes aren’t working, I’m only trying to help him, not get into his pants.”

  Who the hell was his friend talking to?

  “Sorry,” the sexy voice mumbled. “It’s ingrained.”

  “Yeah, well, ingrain into your head to step back and give him some space,” Donny chastised.

  “What’s wrong with him?” the sexy voice asked.

  Rory felt a little hurt by the harshness of the question, like there was something wrong with him. Why the hell should he care if this large man thought that about him? He didn’t know this guy, and the big ass didn’t know him.

  “It’s okay, Rory. Just breathe nice and easy. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Good, nice and slow,” Donny said soothingly.

  “I think he’s having a panic attack. Is there something we can do?” Snake asked, and Rory could hear his deep concern.

  Panic attack? Snake had said panic attack. He was not having a…shit, he was having a panic attack. He hadn’t had one of these in almost two years. He had done everything he could to never let anyone know he was having one. Even Wade had no idea. He didn’t have time for this shit right now, he needed to help his friend who had been through something terrifying. He needed to suck it up, push it back, and be brave, so that he could be here for Donny. But what Ozcog said rang through his head again. “Both my mates.” Suddenly he couldn’t breathe again.

  “Shit! Okay, Rory, I need you to listen to only my voice, okay? Just breathe with me, ready? Slowly in through your nose, and steady out through your mouth. Good. Again. Hey, Snake, why don’t you make yourself useful instead of hovering, and go get him a glass of cold water?”

  “Yes, okay,” Snake replied anxiously, and Rory heard his heavy feet head toward the kitchen.

  The tightness in his chest was easing, and he wanted to laugh at his little friend giving the big, strong Black Ops warrior an order, and the man jumping to act. Donny may be small, but Rory had a feeling he was sharp as a tack and had an even sharper tongue and wasn’t afraid to use it.

  He had only met Donny a few times over the past couple of months with both of them being busy with their jobs, but even from that little bit of contact, he knew Donny was a no-nonsense type of guy who didn’t take shit from anyone.

  “Thanks. Come on, Rory, sit up a little and take a sip, it should help,” Donny said, and Rory sat up.

  His breathing had evened out some, but he still felt a little shaken. He met Donny’s concerned eyes, but saw no judgement there, only understanding and compassion. Donny kept a hold on the glass and put the edge to his lips. Rory accepted the help without hesitation and as Donny tipped the glass slightly, he drank the cold soothing liquid.

  It wasn’t a cure all, but it did help the tightness in his chest lesson a little more. After a few sips, Rory felt much better and took the glass from Donny, continuing to drink. Once the glass was empty he handed it back to Donny, then hesitantly looked up at Snake, who was standing behind Donny looking at him. Rory was once again surprised to see nothing but concern in his gorgeous eyes. He thought for sure he would see some kind of judgement, or disgust, or worse, pity, but there was none of that present, which eased more of his stress.

  Snake gave him a small smile. “Feeling better now?”

  Rory returned the smile, then replied, “Yes, thank you.”

  “So, what was that?” Ozcog asked and Rory looked to the larger man.

  Their gazes met and that’s when he saw it, the pity and wariness, like he was afraid one small move and Rory would take up arms and begin a killing spree.

  “It’s called a panic attack, you heathen. You don’t just walk into someone’s house, especially someone you don’t know and start claiming mate. Didn’t your mama ever teach you anything?” Donny reprimanded as he stood, put his hands on his hips, and faced off against the gargoyle.

  Rory almost laughed from the look Ozcog gave Donny in return. It wasn’t anger or insult, but amusement. Rory could see the sparkle of it in Ozcog’s pink eyes, and the thought, he’s a handful just like Jett, crossed his mind.

  “Have you met your mate yet, little pussy?” Ozcog asked teasing.

  “As a matter of fact, no. What does that have to do with anything?” Donny asked heatedly.

  “Well, when that day comes, I hope I’m there to witness it. I would like to see how you react to finally finding what fate has made just for you,” Ozcog answered, then turned his pretty eyes to Snake, then him and smiled. “I’m sorry if I caused this…panic attack, or any stress to either of you. That was not my intention. I was surprised, that’s all. I never expected to find my mate when I came here, then to find out I have two was just an added shock.”

  “Hold on a second,” Snake started as he turned to face Ozcog. “So you’re claiming that Rory and I are your mates?”

  “Welcome to the show, big guy. Did you take a wrong turn on ‘Catch Up Blvd’ and end up on ‘What the Hell’ Lane?” Donny quipped as he rolled his eyes.

  “You seem to be doing better,” Snake said to Donny as he raised a brow.

  “Yeah well, a bath will do that. Plus, I refuse to be a victim any more. Things could have been much worse, but they weren’t, thank the gods, but I refuse to let what that asshat did to me, change me or my life.”

  “I can understand that. And to answer your earlier remark, although I heard everything, I was more worried about Rory then what was actually being said, thank you very much. So now that I’ve arrived at ‘Caught Up Blvd’, which I never knew was near ‘Bitchy Lane’, can we get back to what’s important? Like how Rory’s feeling?”

  All eyes turned to look at him again. Donny had an amused look in his eyes, while Snake’s was full of worry, bu
t the gargoyle’s eyes were full of heat and desire, and that just made Rory want to piss himself and run the other way.

  Slowly he rose to his feet as his gaze darted between the two large, sexy men. They were both fucking hot as hell and anyone would be a fool to not want them, but…he couldn’t have them. There was no way he could let one guy near him, forget two. Knowing what he had to do didn’t make it any easier, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone, but hey, at least Snake and Ozcog would have each other. That was a plus, right?

  He was stalling. But…why was he stalling? He. Could. Not. Have. Anyone. In his life right now. He wasn’t ready, and he didn’t know if he ever would be again. Since that day…no, he wasn’t going to think about it. But, since then, he has been so messed up and no good to start a relationship with anyone.

  Rory took a deep breath then slowly released it. He met Snake’s gaze, then Ozcog’s and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t be anyone’s mate.”

  Ozcog gave him a sexy smirk, then replied, “It’s not up to us, sweet thing. Fate makes mates for one another, and it looks like she has smiled down on me, because you and that hunky piece of sexiness there are both mine.”

  Rory could feel the panic beginning to build up again, but there was also anger. Who the hell did this guy think he was? He belonged to no one but himself, and he would never belong to anyone. Especially someone so possessive like he could tell Ozcog was just from the way he talked. Well, fuck him.

  “Snake can speak for himself, but as for me, that ain’t happening. I belong to no one. Not now. Not ever. So you can take your insistent, possessive crap back out my door and stick it where the sun don’t shine. I’m not a paranormal and I don’t go by paranormal rules. So go find a mate somewhere else, because I’m not it,” Rory argued.

  He spun on his heels and headed down the back hallway toward his office. Stepping in he heard Ozcog’s deep voice. “Damn, that was sexy as fuck.” Then Snake replied, “Right?”

  Rory slammed the office door shut, then locked it. He needed to get lost in his computer programs for a while where it was safe, and he didn’t have to worry about two hot guys trying to get through his barriers.

  CHAPTER 4

  “Well, you handled that like a dream,” Donny said sarcastically.

  Ozcog looked at Donny, holding up his hands. “What? What did I do?”

  Donny then turned to Snake, wiggling his finger. “And you were no help at all.”

  “I didn’t say anything,” Snake said defensively.

  Tossing his hands in the air, Donny asked to no one in particular, “And that is what I’m talking about. Gods, why are men so clueless?”

  Snake raised a brow, asking, “You do realize you’re a man, right?”

  Donny rolled his eyes, saying, “I am an exception to the rule.”

  Snake watched as Donny went to the kitchen, then walked back out with two cups of coffee. He ignored Snake and Ozcog as he passed them and made his way to where Rory had disappeared. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to speak with my friend,” Donny replied kicking the door three times, yelling, “Rory, it’s me. Open up.”

  Snake started down the hall, but Donny turned, stopping him in his tracks with just a look, hissing, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “Going in with you,” Snake replied.

  Donny snorted, “You are doing no such thing. Now back the fuck up, before you discover what a scalding coffee shower feels like.”

  “But Ozcog said we’re mates. That means I have every right to speak with Rory,” Snake stated firmly.

  Donny raised a brow, asking, “Snake, you had your chance and you blew it. You have another mate out there, talk to him, because this one―well, this one is currently occupied.”

  Donny turned and kicked the door once more. “Open the door, Rory. It is only me, and I know you really don’t want to be alone right now. You can talk. I will listen.”

  The door opened, and Snake watched as Donny disappeared into the room. Turning to Ozcog, he saw the man was seriously checking him out. Not knowing what to think about his current situation, Snake decided to do something that he completely understood how to accomplish―Gather intel.

  “Where are you going?” Ozcog asked.

  Snake turned to the gorgeous man, saying, “To listen in.”

  “You can’t do that. Their discussion is private,” Ozcog replied in horror.

  Snake snorted, “Dude, I have no clue what it is to be a mate, but I know I have wanted that man in there since I set eyes on him. Rory has done everything to avoid me, never be alone with me, and when he couldn’t avoid me, he would hide behind the computer. I don’t know why, but I intend to find out. Now if what you say is true, and we are all mates, then I would think you would want to know what barrier we are going to have to get past in order to get our mate.”

  “But―”

  Snake turned and started down the hall whispering, “Do what you want, but I am going to do what I do best.”

  Ozcog didn’t move, hissing, “And what is it you do best?”

  “Gathering intelligence so I have as much information as I need to move forward in any job.” Snake turned with an impish grin. “Maybe later, when we get Rory on board, I can show you what else I’m best at.”

  Snake could hear mumbling from the room but couldn’t make out the words. Looking around, he saw a glass vase with fake flowers in it. Taking the flowers out, Snake put the glass to the door and pressed his ear to it. The voices automatically magnified.

  “Talk to me, Rory. I’m not a fool. Do you think none of us notice the way you look at Snake when you think no one is looking?” Donny asked.

  Rory replied, “I look, I dream, but I can’t do anything about it, Donny.”

  “Why the hell not? I mean you have two hunky ass men out there waiting to show you how many erogenous zones you have that you didn’t even know about,” Donny said with a snicker.

  Snake wished he could have seen Rory’s face, because Donny giggled, saying, “Oh wow, that look says you have definitely had some sexy thoughts when it comes to Snake.”

  Rory replied, “What I think about doesn’t matter, Donny.”

  “Why? Rory, I can see you are tormented by something, but I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” Donny stated in concern.

  When Rory didn’t say anything, Donny asked, “How about this? I ask you questions, and you answer them as honestly as you can?”

  “I can do that,” Rory stated with a large exhale.

  “If there were no barriers in your mind, would you make a play for Snake?” Donny asked.

  “In a heartbeat,” Rory answered.

  “That’s a plus for you,” Ozcog whispered.

  Snake turned to the large sexy man, hissing low, “I thought you didn’t think eavesdropping on Rory was right.”

  “I don’t, but you obviously know him better than I do, so I will follow your lead on this one,” Ozcog replied.

  Snake placed his ear to the vase, but Ozcog getting closer to him had Snake’s cock raising in his pants, asking for attention. “Would you please move a little to your right?”

  Ozcog gave his own impish smile, whispering, “I’m quite comfortable where I am.”

  Snake did his best to ignore the man pressing his hard cock into his ass as he leaned over Snake. The size of that man’s cock and smell of his skin was not something Snake could easily put aside, but he had a job to do and Snake was on a mission.

  Snake knew he had already missed a question, when Donny said, “Okay, so we know that attraction for Ozcog and Snake is not the issue, so what is?”

  Rory’s voice went so quiet, Snake had to strain to hear him.

  “When I was in college, I was raped.”

  Snake gasped in shock as Ozcog growled.

  “Oh, Rory, I’m so sorry,” Donny replied with empathy.

  “It was twelve years ago, but it’s like it was yesterday. I had just turned twenty-one and my fr
iends knew I hadn’t had a birthday party since I was a child. They planned everything out. We had reservations at The Playhouse. It was a gay bar in town known for drag shows. What I didn’t know is that it was also a BDSM club.”

  “Like two bars in one?” Donny asked.

  “Yeah, kind of. There were two sides you could enter from. The left side was the Drag area, with shows and dancing. The right side had an entrance for the BDSM patrons to dance and there were also back rooms for them to―well, you know.”

  “I have an idea, yes,” Donny replied.

  Rory quickly continued, “When we got inside, you couldn’t help but notice that the two bars might be separate, but they were also linked. There were men holding leashes that connected to barely dressed men, kneeling on pillows at the guys feet. I wasn’t a prude or anything, I mean I had heard about things like that, but honestly, I had never seen it nor was I interested in that kind of thing. I mean, to each their own, it just wasn’t my thing.”

  “I know what you mean,” Donny replied.

  Rory cleared his throat, then after a few seconds continued, “We had been at the club for about an hour and a half, seen a few shows, done some dancing, and drinking our beers along with some shots. I had to go to the bathroom, but the ones in our club had a line going outside the door. I could see one on the other side and there was no one standing outside. I didn’t think twice about it and went over there instead. I did what I needed to do and was washing my hands when a guy came in. He smiled at me, and I didn’t want to seem rude, so I smiled back. His name was Trey Mathus. He was a few inches taller than my own five ten, blond hair, hazel eyes that seemed to sparkle in the light, skull tattoos that covered just about every surface of his skin.”

  “In other words, he was sex on a stick and you were interested,” Donny stated.

  “I was interested, but there was something that had me wary,” Rory replied back.